Well, it's 2012 and I am already disliking this year.. 20 hours in and I would love nothing more than to forget all about the last 24 hours.. impossible so I'll just make do.. as usual! J got on my nerves last night, and I got on his I guess.. so now I'm all alone with the millions of thoughts in my head, what to do- what to do..? I'm going to go back on birth control.. I'm going to start trying to lose this baby weight.. I'm going to pick up again on trying to be prefect little house-wife.. stop wanting sex so much.. stop wanting affection.. we'll see where this leaves my heart, see if maybe faking that I'm prefect will make me enough so that he'll desire me with that look in his eyes.. doubt it but hey a girl can dream right? Too bad that dream cost me myself in the process.. but I'll be ok.. maybe the real me will be here one day again, if he ever shows that he loves her again.. now how do you go about repressing every emotion?
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