I cried last night for the first time in a while... I remembered a letter that I'd written when I first found out I was pregnant... I remember writing it not necessarily in the most positive language, and I wondered if I knew instinctual that it wouldn't last. I also wonder at my refusal to believe that I might possibly be pregnant... something that I want so badly??
Anyways, I cried and just wanted comfort but I couldn't explain this to J and now... I don't know... I feel so alone in this even when I feel like I'm finally getting better, I still feel trapped by this unexplainable emotion and event!!
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