Weak and heartless. . .

Well he walked out on me this weekend. . He just Left!

He needed time to think he said . . and that I needed to figure out what was wrong!
I am still feeling really abandoned and hurt and confused and a million other things that I don't know how to name. . He wants me to be honest and trustful/worthy. . and to openly communicate with me but then he turns around and won't talk to me about the very thing that just sent my world spiraling outta control!?
All I know is that he was at Dillons over the weekend. . and finally decided to come home Sunday afternoon when we finally got to go over all of his fears and mine and come to a uneasy agreement to work on things to make them right but I can't help but think that nothing will ever be the same again until this guy who has caused all of this pain in my life isn't in our life anymore. .
Even when J had been doing so good about not being around this guy quite so much and I was so grateful to that you could still tell that there was something there that is always nagging at him and always on the tip of his tongue and it bothers me that I can't get away from thinking that Dillon is responsible for that!! I feel so so so . . . alone!!