Lets talk about the Elephant...

Military life can make one a little crazy and wish for an "Easy Button" instead of always sitting on the "Panic Button", specially around time for PCS Orders to be handed out...

I wish I could say that the military life is easy... I know a lot of people believe that it's roses and rainbows all day everyday  - but honestly military families see more storms and thorns than anything else, and deployments aren't even the half of it. We deal with uncertainty in how long we'll have our spouses in the same city, same state, or same country even due to training missions and job requirements; we wonder how the next assignment will work out, if it'll be high stress or if it'll be odd hours all the while hoping that it'll be a nice & calm 8-5 normal work week because they can't quit or complain really about what they do and when. We wait and wonder, we rush and stress, we get told conflicting information... rarely does anything go as planned, if it can be planned at all! In the civilian world, if you don't like a job or work environment you can always quit (hopefully after finding another job first) or talk to HR/Management about the conditions that make you unhappy - military members don't have that option, they also don't have the option to stay in one location like Civilians do... and of course that means that the spouses/family usually follows but obviously not always as there are always circumstances that don't allow the family to be with the military member.  Sadly enough, all of these things happen without much compensation... yes we get more than a salary - we get housing allowances and dependents get a little thrown their way to help pay for standard living expenses, insurance is taken care of which is great, but still it doesn't even begin to compensate for all the trouble that is Military Life!!! And this is still just the tip of the iceburg... don't get me started on if you aren't near a base and all the hassle that comes with that... nor the frustration of the working spouse... nor special duty assignments... grrr...

Anyways, my little soap box speech is because (as noted in previous posts/blogs) we're in the process of trying to PCS/Transfer to a new location and get away from recruiting. I wish I could say that it's as simple as packing up the house and leaving for the new duty station once we are assigned a new duty station... but it's not that easy unless you are a newly married couple with absolutely no ties to community, family, nor have had time to "build" a life in a house... I've packed up and moved 3 times already, about to be a 4th time with at least 1 or 2 more moves to come in the future - it never has been overly easy. I've had to pack a lifetime up, say goodbye to good friends if not friends and family, leave jobs/careers behind, lose opportunities, change routines/habits, try to find new hobbies/interests, etc... it's a stressful process when things go right. When things go right you have a timeline to plan everything around, you typically know the location you are headed to, you have an idea of what the next few months are going to entail (at least if you've done it at least once before)... however, it seems that our current duty station is HELL on trying to have any timelines, or at least it's seemed like it has been for the last year and a half!! 1st we were offered Ft. Sam Houston (San Antonio, Tx) but that was swiftly jerked away from us due to us not being able to go from non-deployable status to non-deployable nor are we allowed to transfer to the same location just different battalion (retarded I know), next we had Korea given to us as basically the only replacement option but luckily were told that this wasn't true, then we settled on Ft. Lewis (Tacoma, Wa) and now it's being debated as well for unknown reasons if Ft. Lewis will stick or not... 
Honestly though, let's talk about the real reason this all REALLY bothers me... because I can be honest enough with myself to admit that most PCS's haven't brought me to tears with each and every change... The real issue is another topic
that has been featuring rather prominent on my blog the last year and a half - having a baby, being pregnant, waiting on J to decide when these two events might be attempted... I'm getting more and more wary with each change, with each hesitation, with each "bump" in the road - and I fear bring in it up... yes, this is the elephant in my little room!! Don't get me wrong, the idea of leaving Texas again worries me and not having my parents around for the second most important part of my life with my husband (they weren't there for the marriage ceremony either due to the circumstances of it being a rushed JOP thing in North Carolina) saddens me almost as much as leaving from an area that I am only a three or four hour drive from them does... but yes having that monkey on my back, that elephant in the room, that ticking time bomb, that heavy weight on my mind is what really stresses me out when a new change is mentioned... There, it feels good to get that out - too bad it doesn't chance a damned thing, since I haven't said it to the person I need to and I won't because it won't matter... Blah! I'm going to go pack some more stuff away and prepare a little more of the house for the upcoming move - whenever that will be...