No... it's not Postpartum Depression!

So for the last month (maybe 2) I've had a distinct lack of patience... WITH EVERYONE... well except Nathan cause really it's hard to have anything but a smile on your face and joy in your heart when he smiles at you like this: 

Or when he laughs like this:

Or when he is in this kinda mood:

He really is my light at the end of the tunnel on a long day and the one person who I have a hard time ever being anything but happy around... I just can't get enough of him!

Anyways back to the original purpose of this entry... my lack of patience with people. I think this has been brought on by stress at work, stress of having to move to a new house, stress after having had gallbladder surgery, and just stress of life in general - not that I'm complaining about any of it (well maybe about the gallbladder surgery cause I just hate surgery and now HATE the scars that are left behind) since it's not like it's been all that bad on me. Did moving immediately after surgery and not really being able to help much suck... yes it did! Did working long hours several days a week and on weekends due to a new software roll out at work suck... Yes it did!!! Did having to deal with my co-workers who can't cope with change after the rollout suck... Yep!! Does knowing that I still have two more software rollouts on the horizon suck even more... MOST Definitely!! But again not the end of the world, just makes for long days and a very tired momma at the end of it all specially when I still have to come home and deal with a nursing-through-the-night infant.

I'm tired - I'm stressed from the changes - all I wanna do on the weekends is sleep, play with my little boy, hang out with friends or the husband and  just chill... Instead I still have work that has to be done most weekends either because there is stuff to do at the house (unpacking and setting up everything) or stuff needing done at the office in prep for rollout.  So when I have some whining co-worker calling me about something that I've explained how to do umpteen million times already several times a day, or come home to a whining child because daddy isn't momma, or deal with the stupidity that my husband has a tendency to spout ... well it's easy to understand why I have no patience in my mind. In my husband's mind though apparently I'm suffering from Postpartum Depression.

I don't want to take that lightly of course because I do know that there are lots of women (and men sometimes) that suffer silently and alone for long periods of time before admitting they need help or that there is even a problem - so I looked up clinical diagnosis and symptoms. Below are the results of my research:

What is postpartum depression?
Postpartum depression can begin any time during the first two months after you give birth. Symptoms may include:

• Irritability or hypersensitivity

• Difficulty concentrating

• Anxiety and worry

• Crying or tearfulness

• Anger

• Withdrawal from family and friends.

• Negative feelings such as sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, or guilt

• Loss of interest in activities you usually enjoy

• Loss of interest in sex

• Difficulty sleeping (especially returning to sleep)

• Fatigue or exhaustion

• Changes in appetite or eating habits (weight loss or gain)

• Headaches, stomachaches, muscle or backaches

Some women with PPD believe they can't adequately care for their baby or may harm their baby.

What is postpartum anxiety?
If you're having recurrent feelings of intense worry or panic, you may have a postpartum anxiety disorder. Recent research has shown that about 10 percent of postpartum moms suffer from clinical anxiety.
Anxiety symptoms usually appear in the first two to three weeks after the birth of a baby, but may not reach a distressing level until several weeks later. There is some overlap between depression and anxiety, and some women have symptoms of both.
Symptoms of anxiety and panic may include:

• Extreme anxiety or irritability

• Restlessness and agitation

• Shortness of breath

• Chest pains or discomfort

• Sensation of choking or smothering

• Dizziness

• Tingling in hands or feet

• Trembling and shaking

• Sweating

• Faintness

• Hot or cold flashes

• Fear of dying, of going crazy, or of losing control

Some women with postpartum anxiety have recurrent fears about harm coming to their children, other loved ones, or themselves.

Ok so I've got all of like three things on that list - I've been tired and easily irritated/angered and I've lost the sexual drive that I've always had kinda... but the whole tired and easily aggravated seems to play a key in the sex drive. I'm definitely not withdrawing from friends, not that I've had much time with them but that's not in my control... I have no fear of harming myself or child... no other symptoms of distress... no difficulty in sleep patterns... I am in a rut on food, but I get that way when the weather starts warming up... Sorry - I just don't see it!