I got into a fight last night with J... and that upset me so bad!! And the stupid thing about it is it was over something we have gone over and over and over again and again.. Moving with the Military!! When J first decided that he was going to re-up we discussed all the options for his relistment offers from bonuses and choice of duty station and ended up fighting about how supposedly I would hate going anywhere but TX and he wanted to go to everywhere but TX . . but that wasn't the case. There were places I wanted to go to. . places I wanted to see but because I didn't feel safe enough in our marriage I kinda wanted to stay close to home in case. And I mean honestly I still feel that way in some respects but mostly just timid of trying to be stable in another country. The other states weren't so big of a deal. .some states I don't ever wanna live in. . and some I wouldn't mind and it seemed like the ones he wanted to be in where the ones I was hoping against hope that I would never in a million years end up in!! So all this stuff we went round and round about last night once again and I felt like complete shit afterward cause the way I feel just isn't a good enough answer for him. Grr
Anyways after that I just really didn't wanna talk to him at all. . just wanted to stay as far away from him as possible cause I am finally getting to where I feel like I am comfortable in my thoughts on going to Hawaii. . and now . . now I am kinda wondering if that is just false bravado!? I really hope that it all works out but still...
So now I am sitting in the office with a splitting headache wishing for the day to hurry up and end and I get to go home. . I accomplished a few good things today. . like fixing a clients DSL connection cause his stupid alarm system was intervening. . but that is about it - very slow day!!! ICK!!
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